This week I decided to do the unthinkable. Put me first. Above work. Above my future plans. Instead, I focused on my sanity. I decided I needed sleep and rest and peace more than I needed to fix other people's problems. That's not natural to me. I was raised by a doting mother (who was a workaholic in taking care of us) and a workaholic dad we didn't see alot of unless we visited his work. There's nothing wrong with that way of life, but I need more balance. But being selfish, taking time for me, makes me feel guilty. But guilty or not, I'm doing it. Go me!
Today has been semi-exciting. We went and looked at granite for kitchen counters (also looking at Silestone), and then I did a bit of belly dancing. I then had a great conversation with my good friend/minister Jason about compassion fatigue, and what balance really means. It turns out he faces some of the same challenges I do, and it's always great to know you aren't alone. I spend so many hours a day solving problems (diagnosing disease) and thinking things through, that sitting quietly knitting or wandering around Wegmans is more than fun; it's needed to provide my brain a bit of rejuvination and provide me some sanity. And of course, I love food. :)
I've been doing pretty well health wise. I've decided to quit thinking about baby making. Who knows what the future will bring, but I don't want to stress myself out wondering about it. I always "what if." And I want to do it less. So instead, I'll enjoy being active and fit, and being happy at my happy weight. Jeremy calls this my "perfect weight" but I think of it as happy weight--I can enjoy some wine, some cheese, and some dessert, without having to take a nap right afterward.
What do you do for balance? How do you rejuvinate?
Monday, September 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Total re-evaluation
Reassessing goals.
I do this periodically. I realize that my goals have gotten skewed, and the things that really matter to me are getting the least of my time and energy. Resulting in me feeling frazzled and fried and wanting to kill someone. Not cool.
Things I’m realizing?
What matters: me (guilty as it makes me feel to say that), my marriage, family, friends. So those are the things I want to spend 70% of my time focusing on.
What matters to me about me? My sanity/inner peace, my health, sleeping 7 hours a night, exercising daily (6o minutes daily), eating well (chewing my food not inhaling it) and healthfully, reading (30 minutes daily), cutting down on the chatter (email that is skimmed not read).
So how can I accomplish these things? Invent a 36 hour day!?! I just need to shift my focus, and remind myself all the time, of what has to come first. It is a choice. A choice to not get bullied into doing things I don’t want to or can’t do. A choice to be there; not just physically but mentally (cut down on the multitasking). A choice to say this matters more than that, and let that go. Something has to give, and I don’t want it to be my mental health! I can and will do this. I will continue to work on this, daily. I am a work in progress.
I do this periodically. I realize that my goals have gotten skewed, and the things that really matter to me are getting the least of my time and energy. Resulting in me feeling frazzled and fried and wanting to kill someone. Not cool.
Things I’m realizing?
What matters: me (guilty as it makes me feel to say that), my marriage, family, friends. So those are the things I want to spend 70% of my time focusing on.
What matters to me about me? My sanity/inner peace, my health, sleeping 7 hours a night, exercising daily (6o minutes daily), eating well (chewing my food not inhaling it) and healthfully, reading (30 minutes daily), cutting down on the chatter (email that is skimmed not read).
So how can I accomplish these things? Invent a 36 hour day!?! I just need to shift my focus, and remind myself all the time, of what has to come first. It is a choice. A choice to not get bullied into doing things I don’t want to or can’t do. A choice to be there; not just physically but mentally (cut down on the multitasking). A choice to say this matters more than that, and let that go. Something has to give, and I don’t want it to be my mental health! I can and will do this. I will continue to work on this, daily. I am a work in progress.
Travels and Trials
So I’m not going crazy. I promise. Well, maybe just a little.
In the last 3 weeks, I’ve had some health issues as well as changes at work (call me if you want the scoop!). To the point where I wound up in tears one morning, exhausted, a few days after my birthday, thinking that I might be losing it. So Jeremy’s response? Beach weekend! God I love my man.
So away we went to Ocean City MD. It’s a nice town, part carnival and part oasis. We laid around on the beach during the day on Saturday, then went to a bar Sat pm to watch a great live band (Pressing Strings). Jeremy enjoyed multiple adult beverages, and didn’t enjoy the next morning! Sunday we stayed in bed awhile, and then played on the beach again. The water was too cold for me (a lowly 70 degrees) but it helped J’s hangover. We had lots of crab and crab cakes of course. Then we crossed the bay to head over and see the wild ponies on Ashtangue Island.
Monday was a partial day at the office, before I headed to Atlanta for 2 ½ days for a conference. This VCA conference was focusing on new doctors, but it provided some great information on interpersonal communication, especially communication with owners. But most fun? I got to see Huda, one of my former roommates and dear friends, for about 12 hours. We ate yummy truffle mac and cheese and gelato, and generally giggled a lot! I love seeing my friends, even if it’s for a 20 minute cup of coffee. But sometimes it’s the best to just wander and enjoy a good ice cream cone.
In the last 3 weeks, I’ve had some health issues as well as changes at work (call me if you want the scoop!). To the point where I wound up in tears one morning, exhausted, a few days after my birthday, thinking that I might be losing it. So Jeremy’s response? Beach weekend! God I love my man.
So away we went to Ocean City MD. It’s a nice town, part carnival and part oasis. We laid around on the beach during the day on Saturday, then went to a bar Sat pm to watch a great live band (Pressing Strings). Jeremy enjoyed multiple adult beverages, and didn’t enjoy the next morning! Sunday we stayed in bed awhile, and then played on the beach again. The water was too cold for me (a lowly 70 degrees) but it helped J’s hangover. We had lots of crab and crab cakes of course. Then we crossed the bay to head over and see the wild ponies on Ashtangue Island.
Monday was a partial day at the office, before I headed to Atlanta for 2 ½ days for a conference. This VCA conference was focusing on new doctors, but it provided some great information on interpersonal communication, especially communication with owners. But most fun? I got to see Huda, one of my former roommates and dear friends, for about 12 hours. We ate yummy truffle mac and cheese and gelato, and generally giggled a lot! I love seeing my friends, even if it’s for a 20 minute cup of coffee. But sometimes it’s the best to just wander and enjoy a good ice cream cone.
Happy Birthday to Me!
I am now 31 years old. Start digging my grave…JK!!!
Aug 1, 2 days before my birthday, I threw a joint birthday party with Sarah and Jason. This of course was after I met Christy (high school friend) at the vet specialist’s office, to discuss her sweet kitty Zach. Zach had a vaccine associated sarcoma (cancer) and needed an amputation. I was there for support for both of them, and as advocate for Zach. Luckily, he’s doing really well!!! J
Anyway, back to the party. We still don’t know many people here in town, so most of the attendees were Sarah and Jason’s friends, as well as people from their church. But it was good to joke and socialize and play a few games. In addition, we got great ice cream birthday cake (Strawberry cheesecake) from Cold Stone creamery. Awesome!
Sunday was pretty quiet, though Jeremy was starting to feel sick. One problem? Our A/C had started leaking. And not just leaking, but leaking into the floor of the 2nd story (ceiling of the 1st) and the walls. So he called our home warrantee company, who says they won’t cover any secondary damage! Very frustrating. Plus, it’s 95 degrees? Plus, the part has to be ordered and won’t be back in for 2 weeks. So 2 weeks with no A/C, water damaged ceiling/walls with peeling paint, 95+ degrees heat (with 2 black dogs). Fun.
I worked Monday, my birthday (Aug 3) against my better judgment. No one should be running around on their birthday; there should be mandatory napping and manicures!
After work, Jeremy picked me up and took me home. Though he was officially sick at this point, he sucked it up to help me celebrate. He tried to drain the A/C for 30 minutes, grabbed a quick shower, and got dressed. We were about 20 minutes late at this point, but the restaurant held our table and we enjoyed a yummy dinner (though not amazing). Afterward, we drove through downtown DC and went to the FDR memorial to see it all lit up with all the fountains at night. It was really pretty.
2 days later we got around to the presents. I was really excited with the gifts (duh!), including a fun box from my mom. It was an “as seen on TV” box, including Debbie’s Green Bags, a Titan peeler, and a food scale that I’ve been wanting for about 2 years. I also got a gorgeous daisy umbrella from my aunt, plus the great recipe book Skinny Tini, with recipes for light cocktails. And Jeremy thinks I need to relax, so he got me a quilted hammock, to go on the hammock stand we found at our house when we moved in. I can’t wait for a screened in porch so it can be used mosquito free.
I can’t wait to see what 31 will bring!!!
Aug 1, 2 days before my birthday, I threw a joint birthday party with Sarah and Jason. This of course was after I met Christy (high school friend) at the vet specialist’s office, to discuss her sweet kitty Zach. Zach had a vaccine associated sarcoma (cancer) and needed an amputation. I was there for support for both of them, and as advocate for Zach. Luckily, he’s doing really well!!! J
Anyway, back to the party. We still don’t know many people here in town, so most of the attendees were Sarah and Jason’s friends, as well as people from their church. But it was good to joke and socialize and play a few games. In addition, we got great ice cream birthday cake (Strawberry cheesecake) from Cold Stone creamery. Awesome!
Sunday was pretty quiet, though Jeremy was starting to feel sick. One problem? Our A/C had started leaking. And not just leaking, but leaking into the floor of the 2nd story (ceiling of the 1st) and the walls. So he called our home warrantee company, who says they won’t cover any secondary damage! Very frustrating. Plus, it’s 95 degrees? Plus, the part has to be ordered and won’t be back in for 2 weeks. So 2 weeks with no A/C, water damaged ceiling/walls with peeling paint, 95+ degrees heat (with 2 black dogs). Fun.
I worked Monday, my birthday (Aug 3) against my better judgment. No one should be running around on their birthday; there should be mandatory napping and manicures!
After work, Jeremy picked me up and took me home. Though he was officially sick at this point, he sucked it up to help me celebrate. He tried to drain the A/C for 30 minutes, grabbed a quick shower, and got dressed. We were about 20 minutes late at this point, but the restaurant held our table and we enjoyed a yummy dinner (though not amazing). Afterward, we drove through downtown DC and went to the FDR memorial to see it all lit up with all the fountains at night. It was really pretty.
2 days later we got around to the presents. I was really excited with the gifts (duh!), including a fun box from my mom. It was an “as seen on TV” box, including Debbie’s Green Bags, a Titan peeler, and a food scale that I’ve been wanting for about 2 years. I also got a gorgeous daisy umbrella from my aunt, plus the great recipe book Skinny Tini, with recipes for light cocktails. And Jeremy thinks I need to relax, so he got me a quilted hammock, to go on the hammock stand we found at our house when we moved in. I can’t wait for a screened in porch so it can be used mosquito free.
I can’t wait to see what 31 will bring!!!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Need a longer weekend...
I'm sitting in a clean, quiet kitchen space, wishing desperately that all the work that needs to happen to the house was magically over and done. New kitchen installed. Wall moved. Deck and sunporch built. Doggie door accessible. Plus the 100 or so more minor projects. I work such long hours, 5 days a week, that when I'm home I'm pretty tired, and don't really feel much like contributing. But yesterday I painted and laquered, which I don't mind that much at all.
I really miss working 4 10-hour days. Then I had 3 days off to accomplish all my chores and reassemble my brain. I can't believe I rushed so hard to get another job. I should have enjoyed the time off!!!
But today should be fun. We're going for a hike in Rock Creek Park, then need to finish up some house projects around here. Oh, and laundry. Need to do some laundry.
Work is work; feel free to call me for an update:)
I really miss working 4 10-hour days. Then I had 3 days off to accomplish all my chores and reassemble my brain. I can't believe I rushed so hard to get another job. I should have enjoyed the time off!!!
But today should be fun. We're going for a hike in Rock Creek Park, then need to finish up some house projects around here. Oh, and laundry. Need to do some laundry.
Work is work; feel free to call me for an update:)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
A lily filled kitchen
So I love the idea of a custom kitchen, and love picking things out for the kitchen...but I hate doing the work, making hard choices, and paying the bills.
We're meeting with contractors, getting estimates to revise our hellhole of a kitchen. It will be beautiful and open when it's finished, but for now, it's awful. I'm typing right next to the microwave, and the flowers an owner sent me. She sent flowers because I found her cat's microchip, and the cat was returned home to her. So I did the responsible thing, and I got lovely lilies, gerberas, hydrangeas, snapdragons, calla lillies....and they smell so good!
Anyway, the flowers are the bright spot in our dismal kitchen. Found out today that the floor isn't even, so that will have to be fixed too. Ugh. But I'll keep thinking about how gorgeous it will be. One day.
We're meeting with contractors, getting estimates to revise our hellhole of a kitchen. It will be beautiful and open when it's finished, but for now, it's awful. I'm typing right next to the microwave, and the flowers an owner sent me. She sent flowers because I found her cat's microchip, and the cat was returned home to her. So I did the responsible thing, and I got lovely lilies, gerberas, hydrangeas, snapdragons, calla lillies....and they smell so good!
Anyway, the flowers are the bright spot in our dismal kitchen. Found out today that the floor isn't even, so that will have to be fixed too. Ugh. But I'll keep thinking about how gorgeous it will be. One day.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
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