Monday, September 14, 2009

Continuing the battle

This week I decided to do the unthinkable. Put me first. Above work. Above my future plans. Instead, I focused on my sanity. I decided I needed sleep and rest and peace more than I needed to fix other people's problems. That's not natural to me. I was raised by a doting mother (who was a workaholic in taking care of us) and a workaholic dad we didn't see alot of unless we visited his work. There's nothing wrong with that way of life, but I need more balance. But being selfish, taking time for me, makes me feel guilty. But guilty or not, I'm doing it. Go me!

Today has been semi-exciting. We went and looked at granite for kitchen counters (also looking at Silestone), and then I did a bit of belly dancing. I then had a great conversation with my good friend/minister Jason about compassion fatigue, and what balance really means. It turns out he faces some of the same challenges I do, and it's always great to know you aren't alone. I spend so many hours a day solving problems (diagnosing disease) and thinking things through, that sitting quietly knitting or wandering around Wegmans is more than fun; it's needed to provide my brain a bit of rejuvination and provide me some sanity. And of course, I love food. :)

I've been doing pretty well health wise. I've decided to quit thinking about baby making. Who knows what the future will bring, but I don't want to stress myself out wondering about it. I always "what if." And I want to do it less. So instead, I'll enjoy being active and fit, and being happy at my happy weight. Jeremy calls this my "perfect weight" but I think of it as happy weight--I can enjoy some wine, some cheese, and some dessert, without having to take a nap right afterward.

What do you do for balance? How do you rejuvinate?

3 comments:

  1. all i want to say is- sanity is not selfish. go you!! i'm proud of your balancing- you are fighting hard for that peace! :)

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  2. To say that I'm proud of you doesn't even begin to describe it. You're setting a good example for me, as we both try to kick the workaholism!

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  3. Putting yourself first is essential sometimes. Balance requires it. Happiness requires it. Life requires it. Good for you!!!

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